Last night in the pub, we were discussing double entendres. I’d heard a good one, supposedly a Square Dance call. Unfortunately my telling of it coincided with one of those unexpected room-wide silences when everyone goes quiet and yours is suddenly the only voice to be heard.

So to the woman in red at the bar who gave me a filthy look, if she should happen to be reading this:

When I said, “After the clap, change partners,” it wasn’t necessarily what you thought.